Clarity To Kill My Selfishness

This past month has been an extremely long thought process of many things.  Why am I here, what am I doing, why do I have to be apart from my fiancé for so long, why do family problems happen when I'm not there, why can't those I love see the love that Christ has for them, what is the point in trying when everything seems to fall apart.  In all fairness I don't know "why", but I do know that the Enemy comes to kill and destroy and he wants me to play his game.  I also know that I will fight back.  In time, I will find my purpose here, time apart from my fiancé will provide growth not only in us but in Christ as well, family problems will be resolved with prayer, those I love I can only continue to love and pour into, and the point of trying is to win the war that the Enemy continues to loose.  

When I came here last year I went back home "knowing" that Latvija was my home, that when I got accepted into the internship and raised support I would know that that's where I was suppose to be long term.  Well the plan I had written for myself turned out to need a lot of editing.  In the process of writing my own story, God wrote into my life an entire new chapter.  A chapter that entails me falling in love with my knight in shining armor who I have given my hand in marriage to.  Undoubtedly I knew that God was still calling me to go, and Stephen supported that decision and also was accepted into the short-term internship.  I still wanted to write my own story.  I wanted things the way I had invisioned them in my mind.  Now, my story only got better, my knight in shining armor could live here with me, serve Christ and pour love into these kids, and we would live happily ever after.    

What fantasy world was I living in!  This isn't Hollywood!  How selfish could I possibly be, not only to Stephen, but to God as well.  There was a moment in intern training when God allowed me to check my hopes and dreams at His front door.  After a long time of battling my heart and what I wanted for my life, I left those hopes and dreams in God's hands.  It was by far the hardest thing I have had to do. Not only was I choosing to get rid of my own story, but I have also chosen to allow God to pick up the pen and continue the story he started.  The reality of the fact that I may never come back to Latvija killed me.  It's no longer a one way decision it's two, well actually three.  I didn't want to think about where Stephen felt called to, I was selfish.  My heart so badly longed to be here, so much so that I failed to see the urgency for Christ in my own home town.  This summer God has been showing me that it doesn't matter where you are.  Your missions field, your "home", is all around you.  God's hand is at work everywhere.  We are His army!!  What kind of army is stagnant?  NONE!  Now that I understand that, I can go wherever God places me, granted I may kick and scream on the way there, but God always brings me back to His reality.         

So, as I continue in this internship, I know one thing; I am to be a disciple maker to make disciples.  I am to pour love into lives here simply because I love them.  I am here to proclaim the Father that saved my life.  I am here to serve the lost and hurting so that then they can do the same when they find Christ!!  I am excited to see what work God provides as these days to come approach!  

Please be praying for me.  Struggles and challenges come and go and I need a lot of guidance and wisdom from Christ to pull me through.  

Fusion Camp--Take One

First camp, successful!!  After a long week of preparing for a concert and spreading the good news to campers we ended our week with a bang!  This was the first camp that I have been to that I saw kids wanting/needing to come to Christ because their heart wanted to.  It was awesome to see that kids didn't come to Christ just because their friends did and because of that, we now have two more family members in Christ.  I am so excited to see what happens in the camps to come this summer!Please continue praying for us as these next few weeks will be very busy!! Help us be patient and free of frustration!    

The Fusion Journey Begins!!

After a long week of preparation for the 1st Fusion camp of the year the day is finally here!!  Both Faith and Shiloh American teams made here, to Riga Latvia, in one piece and with every piece of luggage!! That my friends is a blessing in disguise for a rough estimate of 24 Americans!  This last week we trained these teams and gave them as much information as one could possibly handle about Latvia's culture.  Each person has a specific role in the camps and as we step into this week please be praying for us all!  The nerves, excitement, joy, and tension are a huge part of this camp and knowing we have people on the other side and here praying us through it has a huge impact in our lives!!  
     This year the camp has 25 campers split fairly equally between guys and girls!  In the past girls outnumbered guys by a long shot!  They don't have the support of male leadership here as some are used to, so knowing that males are stepping up is extremely encouraging!  
     Both American teams take off today and will each head to their designated camps for the week!! Please be praying for us both!  Also from what I have heard, the English camp in Liepa is going very well!! Please continue to pray for them as well!

Specific Prayer Request:

For campers to be plugged into a church they can call home, as well as plugged in with a national who can disciple them so that they grow and can then disciple others!

For campers hearts to be soft and open to what God has to say to them this week!

For the leaders to have patience, courage, flexibility and to serve with humility!

Thank you all again!! I miss you all so much!! This pic is from two years ago, I can't wait to see how much they have grown!

Home away from home...

     After spending the day in  a very, very long 18 hour car ride through Europe, we finally landed in Latvia, Europe!! It feels so great to be back!  After settling in, we had a team meeting with The Hargans about why we were here and what our job is as an intern this summer.  We are here to build bridges that connect young people to the churches and Nationals in Latvia.  Along with that we are to be as flexible as we are able.  It is great to hear some of the stories the Latvians have told about those who have been saved and connected with the church and are continuing to serve and be disciples to those around them who don't yet know Christ!  Such an encouragement!!  Tomorrow we break out into our two teams to work on lessons and your prayers and much needed!! Please pray for patience as well as clarity and wisdom in finalizing lessons!!  

New birth in a living hope!

When we got to the Josiah Venture training center here in Czech I opened up my bible to 1 Peter.  Why I did I still don't know, but I know God will use it for good.  Anyway I tried reading through it and I kept being pulled back to the first few verses.  No matter how hard I tried to move on my heart still felt pulled back to the first few verses.  So I read 1 Peter 1:3-5 over and over and over and then thought, well I can't seem to focus on anything else but this passage why not memorize it! 
     "In his great mercy he has given us new birth in a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in that time."   1 Peter 1:3-5
Every time I read this I still find something new!  I want to know your observations! Help me understand why this verse has been placed on my heart!!


As for another update......my heart is swelling with so many thoughts and emotions!  As interns we are all going through a study called the "Shift 1|9" and in it we get to stop and go deep into the gospel of Christ.  Instead of just reading a verse and closing our Bibles we actually read the verses and then sit and talk about what we see happening in the stories.  It is such an honor to be surrounded by so many people that see so many different things in the same scripture!  Recently we have been talking about sharing the gospel in a way that people will listen instead of shutting down.  While we were talking about it I sat there  convicted, wondering "How many times did I have the opportunity to share and instead made excuses to walk the other direction?"  I learned today that there are those who can walk into a spiritual conversation with extreme ease and there are those who fall into a spiritual conversation.  Both have Christ in mind, both revolve around love, regardless of how "together" their testimonies may seem.  It is going to be a process learning to approach people without them assuming I am judging or thinking I am better them.  I am so excited to see how God shapes my heart and uses me to expand His kingdom!! 

Specific prayer request:

Pray that Christ keeps us from distractions that Satan places in front of us
Pray for peace in our sleep.  Stephen has had a few extremely dark dreams that have happened to some others in the past as well.  
Pray that support will continue to come in not only for myself but also for those who have recently become a part of the JV Staff.  I have talked to a lot of people and support raising is a very big struggle! 

Love you all! Thanks again for all your prayers and support!    

Final Destination of the Amazing race!!!

We have reached our final destination in Malenovice, Czech Republic!!  We are staying in another Josiah Venture training center, right in the middle of the mountains!  I wish you all could be here to see this beautiful view! (Picture will be up soon!)  
Unfortunately Latvia's second team (my team) didn't do so well....we took 14th our of 15 teams!  So we didn't exactly loose but Latvia's first team picked up our slack by placing 5th!! Even though we lost we had a great time walking across the Czech bolder from Poland and continuing on to a club where we learned how to do a czech folk dance!! After that we had a few more stops and ended with a huge bang by piling 5 people into the smallest taxi ever!! All in all no dreams are broken and we all still have extremely high hopes for this summer regardless of taking 14th!  

The Amazing Race!!!

The Amazing Race has started here in Krakow, Poland!  They have split the Latvian team into two groups.  If any of you have watched the "real" amazing race on television you have some idea of how it works.  Someone hands you a sheet with a clue and you are to race to the next clue given only by asking those around you, who may or may not speak English!  Needless to say this entails miles and miles of walking!! Day one of the race team one entered the last destination at the hostel at 10pm and the second at 10:30pm. We are the 2nd team and took 13th yesterday out of fifteen teams....didn't do so well lol but we haven't lost hope!  Today we ended our journey at Josiah Ventures brand new H2O center here in Skoczow, Poland. It is a center built to train interns like myself as well as giving those in need a place to sleep, kind of like a hotel!  Our last challenge for the day, before we could curl up in a nice warm bed, was to eat blood sausage and sour kraut.  For those of you who have no idea what blood sausage is.....Google it!  Sour kraut is my least favorite food And on top of blood sausage it made for an extremely great gag reflex!  We are now ranking 10th and are slowly stepping up the list!! Please keep us in your prayers as we continue our journey into Czech republic! Tomorrow makes for the last day of the amazing race and will give us our final placement!!