An impatient lifestyle....

It's crazy how some things in your life can bring you to your knees more than once in your lifetime.  I thought I had dealt with my past and moved on, but now I stand in front of a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and now I find myself face down-truly dealing with my past.  For the first time in my life I am able to understand why those around me taught me to wait until I was married to give away something so precious.  For the first time, I stand disappointed, facing the consequences of my actions.  Why? Because for the first time, he is the only one that matters.  It doesn't matter what everyone else has to say about me, just him, and now more than ever I cry out to the only one who knows my pain--Jesus.  Constantly, I find myself begging for Christs forgiveness, knowing I have His forgiveness.  I beg because I'm not sure I have completely forgiven myself yet-I'm learning.  As I learn I pray for patience in my own life and the life of those around me.  Patience--I have found I must learn through the trials of this life.  I want too many things, too much information in my life on my owm time and forget that God's timing is perfect.  Like so many of us I try to get ahead of the game and often find myself more frustrated than I was from the start.  At this time in my life I'm learning to step back and let God lead.  Although its easier said than done.  God never gives us more than we can handle and right now my life is at its peak...so I am learning to be patient and trust the only one who can save me! 

I Stand Amazed!!

I am amazed at the work God continues to do in my life.  So often I forget to be thankful for the little things in life and find my self scrambling under the stress of everything in between.  Regardless of all the stress God ALWAYS manages to show up on top!!  Right now Latvia support has hit a stand still, and in doing so God is showing me how important it is to be patient.  In my moments of doubt I have found myself weak at the knees begging my Maker for security.  God has clearly given me an open door to follow Him through and I have/am continuing to follow His steps in this next journey of my life.  God has opened my eyes to be thankful for my job, even when things don't go my way.  Without it I wouldn't be able to pay bills on top of putting money aside for Latvia!  He is opening my eyes to those around me praying for me, and encouraging me in my walk with Him!  My support for Latvia hasn't moved much but I will NOT be discouraged!  I now have $7,967 left to raise!!  I will continue sending out support letters and am thinking of having a "strictly donation" garage sale! If you guys have any suggestions please let me know!! I am open for everything! 

On a brighter note!! I am engaged!! Stephen Knoll proposed to me on March 4th!!  I said YES!  I am truly blessed to have such a loving man of God in my life!  His heart to do/be the best he can be in everything has been a huge inspiration in my life.  Without his encouragement and support for my decision to pursue Latvia my stress level would be ten times more.  God placed him in my life at just the right time!  I can't 

wait to spend the rest of my life with him.